May 8, 2008

Output, Part 2

I haven't mentioned that the only reason I'm doing this is because one of my friends thought that if I went home "sick" because of this I shouldn't treat it like I did last time where I just distracted myself for about a week (and took some Xanax, though I still dislike the idea of psychological-use medicating when not necessary). So instead, I'm trying to voice these issues I have, over the medium that has the most potential for advice. So what if it gets me labeled as a "emo" kid.

So last time I mentioned that I have a tendency to try to do things by myself, even if it's not necessarily the best idea at the time. For example, I moved my TV and its stand up to my second floor apartment all by myself (it's a 37" LCD, so not the worst it could've been). Looking back at my admittedly short-so-far life, I think I know why this is.

I picked it up during my K-12 days. I was always one of the best performers throughout my schooling and I was always irritated by how slow some people seemed. I got griped at during "read-aloud" sessions of class because I read in my head faster than another kid did aloud; this meant that when I got called on to read, I may have read the section in question, but I didn't know where the last kid had left off. Anyway, those two attributes combined to make me highly likely to just do all the work if the group I was in didn't have firmly delineated tasks for each member and/or the other members were disinterested in actually doing the work.

That changed in college, when generally people (at least past the first year or so) were as motivated to get things done as I was. It didn't help me unlearn my bad habit though. I'd learned too well that I was the only person I could depend on to get anything done.

This is something I need to overcome as well, but I'm really not sure how.
(edited in prior to publication but after writing: for those wondering, this is probably going to be a 6 part series. I've written and set up scheduled publishing on 4 of them, and have "focus" topics for the other 2)