May 9, 2008

Life Begins at the Intersection

Alright, time to move into a tangential topic or two before finishing up the tale I've been telling.

I've been a fan for long time of spiritual music that mostly skirts of the edge of naming any one particular religion. I don't know why, but it rings truer to me. This has led me to the likes of Switchfoot, Anberlin, and others like them.

This one's about a dream
I had last night
How an old man tracked me home
And stepped inside
Put his foot inside the door
And gave a crooked smile
Something in his eyes
Something in his laugh
Something in his voice
That made my skin crawl off

Said I've seen you here before
I know your name
How you could have your pick
Of pretty things
You could have it all
Everything at once
Everything you've seen
Everything you'll need
Everything you've ever had in fantasies
In the depths of a dream the man is offered everything he's ever wanted or needed. But the figure giving the offer is fairly creepy and it makes the deal seem off. (I realize I may not be saying much "new" here, but bear with me)
You've one life, you've one life,
You've one life left to leave,
You've one life, you've one life,
You've one life left to leave
This bit isn't immediately evident to me. It subtly changes at the end of the song, though. It's important though: we only have this one life to be who we want to be.
I woke up from my dream
As a golden man
With a girl I’ve never seen
With golden skin
I jumped up to my feet
And she asked me what was wrong
And I began to scream
I don’t think this is me
Is this just a dream
Or really happening

You've one life, you've one life
You've one life left to leave
You've one life, you've one life
You've one life left to leave
The man wakes from his dream to find that the offer in the dream was true, and it's worse than he feared.
What direction, what direction
What direction, what direction
I’m splitting up, I’m splitting up
This is my personal disaffection
What direction, what direction
What direction now
This is the first of two parts that really hits me at home. The man wonders what path his life should take. The one he's stumbled into clearly isn't it. But this lack of direction is his "personal disaffection."
I looked outside the glass
At golden shores
Golden ships and masts
With golden cords
As my reflection passed
I hated what I saw
My golden eyes were dead
And a thought passed through my head
A heart that's made of gold can’t really beat at all
I wanted to wake up again
I wanted to wake up again
Without a touch of gold
Without a touch of gold
This has two important points. The man is vehemently rejecting this world of gold, the offer of his soul for all his earthly desires - because, as it turns out, he doesn't really want them. The second, that a heart that's may of gold isn't real, can't beat, can't sustain life.
What direction, what direction
What direction? what direction?
What direction? what direction?
What direction? what direction?
What direction? what direction?
What direction? what direction?
What direction?
Death or action,
Life begins at the intersection!
What direction? what direction?
What direction now?
And again, to the part that moves me most. I wasn't actually aware of the "death or action" bit until just now. That makes what comes after even more power: life begins when we make the choice of how we want to live, and make it for ourselves.
I woke up as before
But the gold was gone
My wife was at the door
With her night robe on
My heart beat once or twice
And life flooded my veins
Everything had changed
My lungs had found their voice
And what was once routine
Was now the perfect joy

You've one life, you've one life
You've one life left to lead
You've one life, you've one life
You've one life left to lead
The man wakes up from his second dream to realize that his life is back to normal. You know what? He's figured out that the life he's in is the one he's going to live, and it brings such joy and harmony to him. You'll note the change in the ending lyrics: he's not going to leave this life, he's going to lead it.

Sad that I feel adrift so often, then.

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