April 16, 2008

Can you really?

Can you love someone and hate them at the same time? Can they inspire you and digust you simultaneously? Can you see their every perfection and flaw? Can you trust them completely with your life, but know they can turn on you at any second? Can you feel like you know them inside out, and still know that they're a stranger to you?
That's something my sister posted as a note on Facebook. I'm going to try to respond here.
  1. Yes, although I think it's more appropriate to say that you can love someone but hate what they do or hate someone and love what they do.
  2. I think it's possible, but rare.
  3. That's hard to say, and I think your next questions point to the answer being "no." They both imply that there's something you know that you don't know about the person in question, which would mean that you don't see every perfection and flaw.
  4. Again, it's possible, but I think that it's either some knowledge you've kept hidden from yourself or, possibly, an issue of trust.
  5. Yeah. I think that's happened to me before. It's an issue in that it's incredibly hard to really know someone, but after a certain point we all assume we know how someone will react, what their opinion will be. We can almost never be certain though.
And now for a quote from my own catalog that may be somewhat relevant:
"I now believe that every weakness is a strength misapplied, and every strength is a weakness which has found its proper use."
-- Stephen R Donaldson


Jessica said...

yeah, that's what i'm thinking :p

Sam said...

Nice vagueness there.

Anonymous said...

I do believe that you can love someone and hate things about them or things that they do. It's especially easy to do that with family. We most often hurt the ones we're closest to and love the most. It's easiest.

I do believe they can create feelings of inspiration and disgust simultaneously, although I can't think of a good example.

I do believe you can see both perfections and flaws...maybe not all of them, though, as it takes a lifetime to really know someone that well, and even after a lifetime there are unknowns.

I believe that you can want so badly to trust someone with your life and feel in the depth of your soul the doubt and the feeling that you will be disappointed. I don't know that you can truly trust someone that you know will turn on you any second. Although, you can trust that they will turn on you and disappoint you, and I guess it makes each time that they don't that much more pleasing.

I believe that you can definitely feel like you know someone inside out and still know they are a stranger. We're all ultimately strangers. We all have our secrets.

Good questions. They really make you think.